Driver’s Ed

TW: Intrusive Thoughts, Negative

There are times when I wish that I could buy a driver’s ed car and always have somebody in the passenger seat. I would get a warning if they noticed I was distracted by a cow. If I felt inclined to, as I say “skeet off the road,” they would hit the brakes on the right side of the car designed to keep 16-year-olds from running a stop sign. I would then feel guilty for the rest of the day because of the possibility something could have happened to us both.

Alternatively, perhaps I would not feel any type of inclination because I would do everything in my power to make sure that the person felt safe. I know if I had either I would always feel shame in having them there or even just being in control of a big mortal chunk of metal with more metal inside and various amounts of fluids to keep it going. Then aside from that person, I could be driving by hundreds of cars, many times with people inside. Frankly, I’ve just never been able to take the pressure off of myself and definitely would not be able to keep the pressure in my tires.

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Young and neuroqueer, but without any labels: just a human rediscovering the light and analyzing the shadows of the world.

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Young and neuroqueer, but without any labels: just a human rediscovering the light and analyzing the shadows of the world.

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